Problem Apple?

I bought one of them iPads a couple months ago and after using it for a while I’ve identified some hueg problems.

Battery Life is Too Long
I only charge my iPad once a week and that’s there’s simply too much time in between charges. I like the comfort of being tethered to a power outlet and power cord.

They’re Too Fast
With a long battery life I keep the iPad in sleep mode and it fires up instantly whenever I need it. Since there’s no “boot up” I’m forced to find stuff to do with all the time I save. Also the the screen is a little too responsive to touch. With the other tablets I’ve used there was a slight delay so I could perform a few actions and sit back and pretend a ghost is in control.

Apps Are Too Easy
Installing apps is just too easy and there are too many to choose from. I’m used to the Windows Marketplace on my phone where there are only five apps too choose from which is totally less stressful and most of the time the apps don’t work which results in even less stress!

Constructed Too Nicely
Sturdily constructed with high quality glass and metal? What’s the matter Apple, are you too cool for plastic?

It’s Too Comfortable
I miss the challenge of constantly adjusting myself in bed trying to read blogs off a laptop. I also miss the warmth of a laptop slowly cooking my balls.

Also, cocks.